Living for yourself ain't always a crime

Since childhood, almost all of us harbor some dreams, big or small, in our hearts. Many of the more thoughtful ones might even feel that they have been brought into this world to serve a specific purpose. But as the stream of our lives flows, taking its own course, we inadvertently shove those dreams at a corner so inaccessible that never do they find their way back to our attention.

 

In a blink of an eye, days roll into months, months into years and years into decades. And suddenly on a drowsy and insipid Sunday afternoon, sprawled on a bed, relishing the one day he has come to value more than spending time with his family or friends, a middle-aged man just like any of us, dares to question himself. Is this what I really wanted out of my life? He allows his lashes to shut his worn out eyes and the years which rushed past him begin to flash before them in a panoramic view. First, visions of his young self with sparkling eyes brimming with disoriented yet determined fancies merge into those of a zealous teen striving to carve a spot for himself in the large oceans of crowd. Soon, blurred images of his subsiding effervescence, when in a self-inflicted desperation to make big bucks he chose to overlook the job description offered and went on slogging himself mechanically ever since, interrupt his dismal reverie. The moment he lifts the shutters off his eyes he is confronted by his inescapable present looming large over him. He for a moment longs to turn his face away from the bitter truth his life serves but alas, he is helpless. This is the life he chose for himself..

 

Some time back, at the expense of sounding fantastical, I dared to ask some folks a simple question which many of them meekly brushed away. I casually popped a question if every day when they woke up in the morning they were excited to go work or not. Majority of the people questioned me back, rather perplexed, if that was even plausible. While a few of the lot having learnt the art of circumventing a question promptly inquired how anyone could be excited every day to work. So, I re-framed my question to when was the last time they were excited to get up and go to work in the morning. Nothing to my surprise, all I got in the name of answers were awkward glances and questioning shrugs. It left no room for any more questions.

 

This entire exercise prodded me to raise a subject which we, too-busy-in-our-lives-to-bother type of people, seem to have conveniently overlooked. We are so lost in being a good employee, a good husband, a good father, a good friend or for that matter a good person that we forget to become a good host to our own desires. Why do we allow ourselves be molded in a stencil someone else crafted for us? Why are we so scared to chase after our dreams? Why is the fear of failure so well imbibed in all of us that we can’t spare us even that one chance which everyone deserves? Why do we settle for something less than what we actually want? And finally, why can’t we keep aside a small part of our day for our own selves to do what pleases us and not a despotic boss or a demanding wife or a cranky child.

 

Many of us would argue that such larger-than-life lectures are easier said than done. Our life today is so laden with responsibilities and duties that only a meal with family seems no less than unbridled joy. I don’t disagree with the veracity of these claims. So, I don’t ask you to quit your job, I only ask you to take a break once in a blue moon. I don’t advocate to not save money, I just advocate to spend a small part of it on you. I don’t implore you to blindly take a plunge and follow your dreams all your life, but to merely give yourself one chance to turn them into reality. I don’t expect you to always follow your heart, I simply expect you to not shut its voice down completely. Lastly, I don’t urge you to be selfish, I only urge you to sometimes keep yourself before the others.

 

At the end all I propound is that we stop going through the days and nights mechanically and rather start to live in the everyday and the night. They say life is short, live it; I say why even aspire for it to be long? Aspire for life to be alive, young, buoyant and everything but long, so even a lifetime of 100 years seems short..

 

By- Roopali Shekhawat