Why fear the failure

Failure. Defeat. Loss. These are few words which none of us really likes to be associated with. We always want to win every game we play, we wish to pass every exam we take, we hope for every relationship to work out and we aim to earn profit in every venture we undertake. Who can refute rolling on the ground wailing as little children even when we knew then that we had lost that particular game of Cricket or Catch-Catch. Why has it always been so difficult for us to accept defeat, small or big?

 

The way the world functions today makes me believe that possibly we are not the only ones who can be held responsible for such an outlook. Perhaps, this is how we are programmed now-a-days. Acting on the perpetual command to fight every contest with an aim to scale ahead of every competitor and to never ever lose any battle whatsoever. Today, losing has been made synonymous to being a loser and no one can accept that tag. But then as exemplified above, can the intolerance towards losing of an unschooled and untutored five-year old child, who is yet to form a part of the mainstream, be attributed to the diktats of the society? I am not so sure. So does it imply that we are born with an untamed tendency to always pursue winning? If yes, then it certainly warrants a change of perspective so that this seemingly harmless pursuit doesn't turn into a meaningless and self -destructive obsession.

 

We all celebrate our victories and successes and why shouldn't we? Someone works hard towards achieving something and translates his efforts into yield. Certainly calls for a toast. But can we ever wrap our heads around the idea to celebrate a defeat? May be it sounds too lame or even cliche'd. How about putting it in perspective by considering a kid who loses a small game of Tennis or an inter-school debate competition? Ambitious parents would probably persecute such a kid either directly or indirectly through hung heads weighed down by the intolerable burden of disappointment. The so-called cool parents might simply pat their kid's back or ruffle his hair and say '' Come on kido! It's ok! It was just a game. Cheer up". But what if some parents actually treat this kid with an ice-cream cone and tell him that it was rather good that he lost. They explain to him how important it is in life to taste every bitterness and face every stumbling block including that of failure. This is how those parents will prepare the kid to face the monster that life can actually become at times.

 

From my personal account, I remember being absolutely shattered and slipping into a dismal state myself for a short while when I first encountered failure, laughably enough, in academics when I could not clear a certain professional level examination. It took a great deal of efforts for me to dust off the same books and study them again for the next attempt. I thankfully cleared the next time. This small but relatively significant incidence prompted me to write this piece today. Through this I only wish to ask those bright youngsters a few simple questions. What if you have to drop a year or two before you find the right pathway? What's wrong if you fail fifteen job interviews before the right job opportunity comes knocking at your doorstep? Why would you be so depressed if someone you know started earning before you did or bought a car before you could?

 

Honestly, I know it's nothing new or path-breaking that I am professing here today. It's something as simple as anything can be. But funny how we decipher the most complex mysteries of life but fail to figure out the most basic rules of the game that life is. We all very well know that we can't win every fight, we can't pass every test, we can't crack every job interview and we can't escape defeat every time. The best warriors have lost battles and the best players have lost games. Defeat is not shameful nor is it resentful. Defeat is our natural ally which we may dislike when faced with but cant dodge. The fear of defeat daunts us for as long as we let it do so. We must consider defeat like a tough opponent we always aim to outsmart but without which the essence of even the sweetest of victories is lost.

 

By- Roopali Shekhawat